412 words.

The last time I wrote something was in July. What triggered this was a conversation with a friend, who followed the stuff here (to my pleasant surprise) and asked why I wasn’t writing anymore.

The initial concept was to use this exercise to find what you like. To do so means to go through a process of experimentation to see where my mind goes and my body reacts. One way of figuring out a disinclination is the sense of boredom, or wanting to do something else when I am putting these words on the monitor.

That’s part of the immense challenge of living today; isolating yourself away from the myriad temptations that can be found everywhere the moment you get to something difficult.

Something that helps is validation. A part of what makes hard things hard is the lack of tangible output, which leads to a lack of visible change, which leads to a lack of public opinion about it. Any of which would have been enough to create a spark of ‘I made a difference’.

‘But you should do it for the sake of doing it!’ ‘It’s helpful!’ ‘It trains your mind to think!’

All of these are slow to show outcomes, just like education, wasn’t it. And that is also why convincing people to study is hard (and that happens to be my day job).

What I mentioned about a friend noticing; that was a impact, an indicator that what I made created some kind of spark. So to that friend: thank you.

To the rest of you (and myself): The struggle persists. We all have things that we’re working on that doesn’t make the difference until the world has seen it. So push that thing out to someone who would notice it as least.

Just the act of noticing can change someone. But more on that in another vomit, because I have already deviated from the initial topic.

Finding what I like is hard. Finding what I dislike comes with listening to the various signals of I could be doing something else and I am not right for this thing (of course to be caveated with identifying them as true signals). Finding what I like demands some certainty that the action itself is the one creating the joy, and nothing else in the situation.

Other things that create positive emotion:

  • The environment
  • The company
  • The results

Be wary. Be sure before committing.